The Burden of Choice: Paralysis and Regret in Kim Fu’s "Twenty Hours"
A guest post by Demetrius Anthony, Ella Janak, and Anabel Rivera.
Dual Credit student authors Demetrius Anthony, Ella Janak, and Anabel Rivera investigate the concept of choice paralysis—how it shapes both modern life and the protagonist of Kim Fu’s short story, “Twenty Hours.”
This project was the first large-scale collaborative essay the group had ever worked on. The process brought both challenges and rewards. “When writing an essay with people that don't write the same it is very hard to make an essay flow,” Anabel noticed. At the same time, she observed that having different minds tackling a challenge can be a good thing.
Ella explained their interest in topic: “Choice paralysis is one of those things that is so common to experience, yet no one really puts much emphasis on it or thinks about the concept thoroughly.”
From day to day, choices are constantly being made, whether it is choosing what song to listen to on the way to school, or choosing what classes to take for the next school year. Small or large, choices hold a substantial amount of importance and when met with “too many” choices it can create an overwhelming feeling that may lead to regret, lack of motivation, and uncertainty. The short story “Twenty Hours” by Kim Fu follows the life and mind of the main character, the narrator, as he and his wife kill each other, regenerate, and then live like nothing happened. Throughout this cycle the narrator battles with choice paralysis, torn between the life he knows, the life he desires, and the endless possibilities he could explore, with and without his wife. With the freedom of choice, comes the inevitable burden of its consequences, forcing the narrator to juggle with uncertainty and regret.
An abundance of choices allows for not only the freedom to make decisions but also the opportunity for the dismay that follows them. The basis of choice paralysis revolves around the fact that multiple choices are present. Western culture traditionally considers this variety to be a good thing, but in reality a significant amount of choices is not as beneficial as you might think. Barry Schwartz analyzes the problems faced with many choices. In his journal article “The Tyranny of Choice” Schwartz describes how, when the amount of choices grows, people often find themselves overwhelmed with the pressure that comes with making the “right” decisions. An overwhelming number of possibilities leads to the deterioration of the mind, because people find themselves chasing “perfection.” If the choice made does not satisfy the standard to which a person seeks, they are left with emptiness and regret (Schwartz).
While choice paralysis usually refers to an inability to make choices, it also refers to the regret that emerges after a decision is made. The narrator of “Twenty Hours” experiences a form of choice paralysis that leads him into a downward spiral after killing his wife. As he reflects on his decision, he admits that “[p]oison took forethought. Poison said: I wanted to be apart from you for a while…Poison said: I wanted you to not exist for a while.” His directness reveals that he didn’t experience any lapse in judgement when making the decision to poison his wife, rather it was calculated. The reader later learns that this wasn’t the first time he killed his wife. Each time he killed her he thought he wouldn’t do it again, and each time his regret grew and grew. His feelings of remorse directly correlate with Schwartz’s theory that those who face choice paralysis also battle the feeling of emptiness and regret when finally making a decision and are left to dwell within the trap of their consequences.
After committing to a hard decision, one may start to doubt themselves. In Ed Batista’s article “Stop Worrying About Making the Right Decision,” the author believes that in order to battle choice paralysis effectively, you must make the best out of a decision rather than trying to make the “perfect” decision (Batista). When placing a “rank” on the choices at hand, there are too many variables to successfully decide which is the “best,” so Batista asserts that deliberation is a waste of time. A better mindset is to just let the chips fall where they may and be content with the consequences. This approach contrasts the idealism symptomatic of choice paralysis. By being proactive rather than reactive, a person is not left with regret when thinking about a past choice..
As “Twenty Hours” progresses, the narrator slowly starts to remember the little things he would do alongside his wife. His reminiscing is illustrated when the narrator states, “I ordered takeout from our favorite Thai restaurant. There was a florist on the same block. We always drove there, even though it was less than two miles away.” When he remembers these small occasions from the past it shows that even mundane decisions are more important than they seem. The subtlety of the narrator’s memories of his wife exposes the narrator’s doubt in himself. Deep down he knows that his “right” decision wasn’t truly the best decision. His experience contrasts with Batista’s recommendation to battle choice paralysis by making a decision and facing all that comes with it. But being content with a decision is easier said than done. The narrator’s confidence in his life starts to diminish as he remembers what he lost when he killed his wife.
Overwhelming amounts of decisions can lead to moments of indecisiveness and failures of the mind. In “The Paradox of Choice,” Barry Schwartz introduces the idea that no matter how insignificant a decision may be, it will still demand mental endeavor and careful consideration. Throughout the story Twenty Hours, the main character, time and time again, struggles to let go of the possibilities that he could attain if he were disconnected from his wife. The grappling force of decision drives the husband to develop a “what if” mentality. The husband’s persona makes it very difficult for him to be content with what he already has in his life, longing for more and more in order to feel complete, although he is only left with more regret and dissatisfaction after killing his wife. The main character’s overbearing regret is shown in the very end of the story when he thinks to himself: “I want her to come back. I want to sit shivering on the cold concrete floor of our unfinished basement, the washing machine against my back, a widowed wreck…”. The narrator can be seen as going through stages of grief, as one who experiences choice paralysis would. Killing his wife, which he thought would be a great decision and would make him feel better, unexpectedly turned his life for the worse as he realizes he now wants what he can’t have, and instead is left with despair and regret as a byproduct of his wrong choice.
The difficult and non-difficult choices the narrator faces result in him being sent to states of utter confusion and anxiousness which consume his life. Choices can be simple or they can be difficult, when a choice is difficult, it can lead to mental dilemmas. These dilemmas only gain speed when they are provided with worry and regret. The possibility of these feelings will always be present, however they can be prevented or even shrunk, when a person chooses fulfillment over regret.1
Works Cited
Batista, Ed. “Stop Worrying about Making the Right Decision.” Harvard Business Review, 8 Nov. 2013, hbr.org/2013/11/stop-worrying-about-making-the-right-decision.
Fu, Kim. “BOMB Magazine | Twenty Hours.” BOMB Magazine, 2022, bombmagazine.org/articles/2022/01/31/twenty-hours/.
Hopper, Charlie. “‘The Paralysis of Choice’: Customers Can’t Handle Too Many Options at Once. Exhibit A: That Election We Had a While Ago - Document - Gale General OneFile.” Gale.com, 2016, go.gale.com/ps/i.do?p=ITOF&u=txshracd2487&id=GALE%7CA503295636&v=2.1&it=r&sid=ebsco&asid=1ba7dd12. Accessed 9 Mar. 2025.
News, KI. “The Paradox of Choice: How Abundance Can Lead to Paralysis.” Kashmir Images - Latest News Update, 28 Mar. 2024, I thekashmirimages.com/2024/03/28/the-paradox-of-choice-how-abundance-can-lead-to-paralysis/. Accessed 3 Mar. 2025.
Schwartz, Barry. “The Tyranny of Choice.” Scientific American Mind, vol. 14, no. 5, Scientific American, a division of Nature America, Inc., 2004, pp. 44–49, https://doi.org/10.2307/24997554. JSTOR.